Okay, I admit, when it comes to fetishes, this one blew me away. Ha, blew, funny, read on. Recently I watched this overweight dude on TV stretch, caress, stroke and blow a balloon to the size of a large beach ball with a long neck on the end.   The longer the neck he was able to create before it popped the more it seemed he was about cream his pants, and when it popped, oh my. 
Does everything have to have a sexual connotation? Can’t we leave those fun rubber things for the kiddies.   

If that wasn’t enough, I went to dinner at a local restaurant with my guy soon after and he grabbed the balloons and crayons they hand out to kids. He gave me the look. You know the one they give when they think they’re all sly and sexy… not. 

“Are you kidding me, he’s not going to blow this balloon up here in the restaurant is he?”  Oh yes he is and boy did he blow.  It popped so loud it seemed as if the noise broke the sound barrier.   All seemingly innocent eyes were on our table and my guy looked like he just had the big one. Funny, the same look that dude on TV had. Was there something to this balloon thing?  He was joking right?   

The waitress came over, laughed and said, “Oh don’t worry, that happens all the time.” Hmmm….  Now every time I see a bouquet of balloons going to a kid’s birthday party a whole different picture comes to mind and I think, “I wonder who ordered those.”
~signed The Wacky Ex~