Reality check week, I guess.   I have been having trouble with my eyes lately. 
You know, the usual dry eye stuff, runny itchy, blurry.  Runs in the family, I
think.  Was being nagged to go to the eye doc since it was interferring with my
work, but what the hec for I say? I'm stubborn. 


Then, all of a sudden, my left eye decided to  go wack!   It was as if a shade pulled down across my eye every two seconds.    Worried?  Me?  Nah, petrified!!!!  Okay,  now I would get to the doc and they  better be able to get me in immediately, when I say.


Luckily with a referral from a friend, they  did.   Annoying as all get out though it was,
I was told my problem was typical  for someone my age.  The eye wall is disintergrating
and what I am seeing is  part of it floating around.  WHAT??? Normal?  Are you kidding me?  Tell that to  my sight when I have to shake my head fifty times, rattling my brain to be able 
to see straight to drive, type, read, watch TV etc. etc.  etc....

Dentist time.  Thought I broke a filling to be repaired.  Oh no, not a filling but a damn tooth.... Second one in  six months.  Guess what, I'm disintergrating.  Dentist said with larger fillings
the tooth ages and gets weaker and breaks.  The filling was fine and still in  place. 
<<<<<<<ARGHHHHH>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>,

I  know I'm no spring chicken but still feel YOUNG... I don't want to hear I'm
DISINTERGRATING.... How depressing...

Bet they haven't said that to my once Adonis EX...

What to  do, what to do....   Time to defy the odds and take on a new challenging
endeavor.... Any suggestions????

~signed The Wacky Ex~

Okay so I read the book and I must say it was done VERY well.  

I am surprised at Barbara Walters attack on  her and ashamed to say, I bought into it without doing my due diligence.   

From the moment I read the first words in Alford's memoir,  I could sense an honesty and vulnerability to the work.  I read on and could  relate in some way to the innocent, naive young woman who allowed herself to  fall into the trap of the "Camelot" syndrome.  In saying that, I am not sure I  can understand all the choices she made.  

It was  disappointing to read about JFK in her experience, but the affair itself was  only a small part of that disappointment.  Alford described, in amazing detail,  events and discussions that occurred during her time with The President and his
staff that set to canvas a hidden, but tortured part of the man.  To her credit,  there was no blame or accusations that she did not take responsibility for and  she tried her best to explain the motives of JFK in the best possible light. 

I never got the impression that she was  stating anything for effect or sympathy. The maturity, growth and understanding
that one hopes comes in the senior years was evident.  Yet, I believe it was  time and her right to share this story in the wonderful way she chose to share  it.

Shame on you Barbara Walters!!!!

~signed The Wacky Ex~

I'm looking for opinions here.  I am not sure how I feel about this one.   On one hand, I ask, "Why after all these years was it so important to write a  public book with such explicit detail?"  Other than the obvious financial gain,  the vivid images the words in her book will leave on the people, not to mention  JFK's family can only taint the once "innocent world" we've come to know as the
era before Kennedy's death.  Is it wrong to close our eyes to the truth or do we  sometimes need to live in fantasy and believe in Camelot? 

On the other hand, this was her life.  Doesn't  everyone have the right to speak freely and chose the options they wish? Am I
judging her too harshly?  I am not sure as my own feeling about this is skewed.   Not only did I have a cheating husband who also had other women in my bed when  I was away and I'm not sure I'd want to be reading about it in a public book,
but my memory of JFK held the adoration of a little girl, which I was at the  time. 

She did wait until Jackie O passed on, as well as John Jr.  and I  guess one can argue that Caroline need not read the book or listen to the news  and interviews on the subject, but I am just not sure one way or the  other.

Tell me what you think....

Reality TV... Okay, Don't SCREAM!  Whatever you may think of it, I for one, am  glad for DWTS (Dancing with the Stars).  Before that show arrived on air,  finding a quality dance studio without having to travel 80 miles was virtually  impossible.  Now, not only are they popping up everywhere with great  dancer/teachers, but finally the youth can't get enough. 


Every Monday night is swing night at the dance  studio I attend.  It's awesome looking out onto the dance floor to see it packed
with college age, teens and even eighty year olds swinging to the beat of big  band music and after 10 pm, modern swing tunes.   Starting at 7pm, it's non stop  dance til midnight and believe me, those kids are out there until the very last
minute, stopping only to come by the bar to rehydrate with water and softdrinks.   Yes, unfortunatly, that's my job for Mondays, but I'm happy to do it;  especially on nights when we have a live band in attendance.   I love the music,  the dance and I even get to color the floor with my  moves when one of those  lovely youngen's feels sorry for me and asks me to dance and I can get out from  behind the bar.

Their style of swing is not  the formal kind you see on DWTS, it's lindy hop, balboa or charleston, but a  blast just the same and sometimes a lot more fun since they don't seem to care  what they look like.  They just enjoy the hec out of it and get great excersize  at the same time.  Yeah for Swing Clubs... Find one in your area and tell me  about it!

So what do I feel and what can I say when death comes to a life so defeated?
Eight years this life chose to waste in nothingness.  It is one thing when death
comes unexpectedly, to the young or to a soul so full of life the void it leaves
behind is devastating. 

But a selfish soul who, contrary to  the upstanding social appearance, gifted life with hurting others;  who looked
at the extra years he was given as a curse and not a blessing to cherish; who
expected from others and took when he could; who continued to hurt by passing
this legacy down a generation and ignoring the damage it left behind; what then
should I feel?

Was this soul always so defeated  in the realm of love and honesty? This is something I will never know.  I only
know it is sad; but the sadness comes not from the end of life but from the lack
of sadness I feel from this end and in the fact that I know I am not alone in
this feeling.  If there is anyone who will feel the void of this passing,  that
is where my heart goes.

Should not every life  be cherished and every death mourned?  One can only hope that a life well lived
is not forgotten.

~signed The Wacky Ex~

I read in my meditation book recently, (The Book of Awakening, by Mark Nepo)  that each of us is blind in various ways. 

"A blind child, guided  by his mother,  admires the cherry blossoms.... -  Kikakou

Fear  causes us to be blind. and  since to fear is very human, to be blind is  unavoidable.  If you fear tight
spaces, you are blind to the wonder of  sudden solitude; if you fear heights, you  are blind to the humility vast
perspective brings; if you fear spiders you are  blind to the splendor and  danger of webs. 

Isn't this our challenge?  We all struggle and  fall  in and out of relationships and in and out of the oneness of life.  In the 
movie "Shall we dance", Susan Saradon says that we get married in order to have  a witness to our life.   I say, we need each other to shed light on our  blindness and the wholeness of life.   We take turns being the blind child, the guiding light or even the blossom itself loving the other through the darkness,  the trust, the experience until we know we are connected to each and every  particle of life.  We are not alone yet the fear of that itself causes blindness.

When I was young and exerting my  independence my mom used to  tell me over and over, "No man is an island."  She
was right, we are not  the island but the seeds that grow and create the synergy  of its existence. 

Shed light on the seed, let it fertilize and  grow.  To what are you blind?

I'm taking a bigger risk here than talking about politics but John Edward is amazing.   Whether or not you believe he can "talk to dead people," he is a very real and down to earth person.  He states that we are all physic to some degree and I totally believe that.  I have even experienced in at various times in my life.   "Physic ability is using energy and understanding the trends of energy," according to John.  And isn't this entire universe "energy," including each individual.  "Your thoughts manifest your future."  Oh yes John, how well I know this one.   He goes on to say, if you can direct your energy toward your future, you can direct your outcome.   Isn't this what BELIEVING is all about.  

Do I think this goes against any Religious belief?  No...  For lack of a better word, "God" created all and gave us the tools to do the same in our lives.  We just need to learn to tap into those tools and have FAITH....  "Blind faith" and knowing so completely that there is no doubt is what all Religions preach.  

I do not necessarily go along with everything that is John Edward, but he is the only physic that has taken the voo doo out of it all and made it real if not understandable.   I have no doubt that John Edward believes whole-heartedly in what he is doing and just the mere fact that he helps ease the pain of others gives him credence.

I was lucky enough to win tickets to his show in New York one year and was so excited.  However, the weather in January prevented any flights. Packed and ready to go, my flight was cancelled.   Disappointing as I would really love a personal reading. 

He grew up in a family much like mine, he is a fellow New Yorker and he ballroom dances.  Yeah!  Where was he when I was growing up???  Not sure he was even born yet. Darn!

I guess I deserved that one for lack of clarity, but no, I am not a supporter of Newt Gingrich.  If only we could take bits and
pieces of what each candidate says that they can back up and then create a new candidate based on that.