Whether you are the one who instigated the breakup or not, the end of any relationship is taxing on the emotional psyche.
And I should know, hard as it is to admit, I have done it enough times. They say, "when the time is right, the teacher shall appear". This time, I am truly grateful that not only did the teacher appear but the student was ready to listen and learn.
First, it is always important to remember:
Next, before you place blame, whether warranted or not, take a good hard look at yourself, your insecurities, emotions, demons from the past anything that may be contributing to your inability to find lasting love.
It is important to be aware of abusive natures in yourself and others. Abuse does not always mean physical harm. It can also be emotional and verbal. And whether is comes maliciously, unconsciously or whether it is reactive, abuse is still abuse and is to be avoided for the success of any relationship.
Some aspects of direct abuse that are not physically visible:
1. Controlling nature- in any form
2. Critical even in the guise of teaching or guiding
4. Inability to forgive
5. Inability to accept another without incorporating the first four.
Some aspects of reactive abuse that are not physically visible:
1. Fear of being controlled
2. Screaming and quick to anger
3. Throwing things
4. Flailing and hitting out of frustration and emotion but without the concious intention to physically harm
5. Distancing oneself as punishment
These are just a few traits that are cancerous to any relationship.
Whether you are a direct abuser or a reactive abuser, if a loving relationship is your desire, it is important to get to the deeper issues. I suggest a professional first and foremost but there are also many good books, tapes and meditations to help with these.
Believe me, erasing years of pain and insecurities is not an easy task, but one that is so well worth the outcome...
You know them. They are everywhere. Family, Co-workers, friends. The "Debbie Downers" who rarely see outcomes as anything but bad and who hold no hope for anything exciting or good. The constant critics who seem to thrive on the negative words they spew. One just need to turn on the TV news or social media to be bombarded with negative comments or fear mongering. And we all have that person in our lives who, on the guise of being helpful, must point out our flaws, mistakes and imperfections.
Well, with all the uncertainty in the world, one thing is very certain. Even if you are not a believer in cause and effect or the law of attraction, getting sucked into this caustic zone of negativity will not make things better.
Women are most susceptible to the negative emotions of the world since they are feeling creatures. We tend not only to sympathize but empathize as well. This can dangerously affect our emotional well-being. It is time to say, “Enough Already”.
Planets weren’t invented by only focusing on “what goes up, must come down”. The stars and planets of the universe aren’t explored by assuming they are too far away from us.
It is a scientific fact that all of life is energy.
“Get over it, and accept the inarguable conclusion. The universe is immaterial-mental and spiritual” (1) – Richard Conn Henry, Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Johns Hopkins University (quote taken from “the mental universe)
“What we perceive as our physical material world, is really not physical or material at all, in fact, it is far from it. This has been proven time and time again by multiple Nobel Prize (among many other scientists around the world) winning physicists, one of them being Niels Bohr, a Danish Physicist who made significant contributions to understanding atomic structure and quantum theory.
However, we do not need to understand quantum physics to know how we feel when someone smiles at us, or to be able to feel the thickness of air in a room full of people emitting negative thoughts or energy.
“Studies have shown that positive emotions and operating from a place of peace within oneself can lead to a very different experience for the person emitting those emotions and for those around them.” .
We can only create and emit to others what we hope for with our positivity turned to the “on” position, flipping the switch, so to speak. It is not enough to believe in a better social culture, we must create because:
“Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.”
So, flipping the switch matters. It’s time to act. I know, with all the negativity around us, it’s not so easy. But with focus, determination and desire, you can do most anything.
Click here for the list of action steps to take to “Flip the Switch” and change your life.
1. AS CUTE AS THEY ARE- NOT A BREED FOR A HOME WITH SMALL CHILDREN
Chihuahua’s love to get underfoot and can get injured easily by children stepping on them or playing rough.
2. SPOIL THEM AND TREAT THEM LIKE A LITTLE BABY
“Allowing him/her to do whatever he/she wants usually ends up with a Chihuahua who is skittish, nervous, excessively dependent, or downright nasty.” By Michele Welton. Copyright © 2000-2016 http://www.yourpurebredpuppy.com/training/chihuahuas.html.
Okay so speaking to the first part of this, no, I did and do not allow my chi to do whatever she wants. She knows and obeys my commands; sit, stay, no, and enough. When she was younger, and could hear better we used to play a game, “Come find me”. I would tell her to sit and stay where she was and then I would go hide somewhere in another room. Then I would call out to her, “Come find me” and she would search each room close to where she thought I was and when she found me, we celebrated with lots of hugs, rubs and kisses. Now she is older and can’t hear me calling to her.
However, the second part, GUILTY! And in kind, she does not like strangers and if they are even in her sight she will bark and carry on. For the brave one that attempts to approach, WATCH YOUR FINGERS! Small teeth still hurt.
3. CONSTANT CUDDLING AND ALWAYS BEING THERE
This is especially important when your chi is a puppy. If you are always with them constantly holding and cuddling, then when you do need to leave them alone, they can develop a bad case of “separation anxiety” throwing a tantrum, becoming agitated and chewing things up things they shouldn’t.
When my Chi first came to my home she was about six months old. I kept her in a play pen in one of the bedrooms with water and a piddle pad when it was bedtime. During the day, I would take her out to allow her to interact with us but at intermittent times during the day, I would again place her in the play pen and go about business. This way, she got used to not seeing us for a while and if we had to leave her alone in the house, she was safe. It allowed her to get the sense that, although she was alone, we would always come back. I used a regular baby play pen but there some for pups that are completely enclosed so you can take it outside.
4. LEAVING THEM ALONE FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME
On the other hand, Chi’s, especially Tea-Cups are not meant to be left alone for extended periods of time. There are many variables that dictate what “extended” means. For me, once my Chi was an adult, I could leave her for 8-9 hours a day. Although rare, she was very content to be left in her space with water, piddle pad and all her toys. Because of how I acclimated her as a puppy, she stayed calm just waiting to give us love and kisses when we returned. Longer than that, however, could result in a variety of issues for your chi’s emotional health and safety.
There are other things you can do to help comfort your Chi. I always left a radio or TV on low so she would hear noises and sounds. Getting a companion for her was not an option for us, so I always made sure she had plenty of appropriate toys to keep her occupied. Living in California, I was always concerned with Earthquakes so, if we had to leave her alone, I kept my Chi in one room with a comfortable, warm bed with nothing hung on the walls that could fall on her. I chose my bedroom because she also like to hide and sleep under my bed. I also had a webcam set up so I could view her and talk to her if need be.
5. CHIHUAHUA’S, BEING SMALL, ARE CONTENT BEING HOME AND SEDENTARY
Uh, No, No, and No! They are NOT content being inside, keeping you company on your lap. These babies have a whip of a brain and love being challenged. I came up with several games like the “Come Find me” mentioned above. Your Chi can learn up to 200 words, so get creative. It is fun for both of you. Unless your Chi has some health challenges, it is important to
exercise them well into adult years. I still take my 3 lb. Chi on short walks and, although she has a bad knee, she is still able to take to stairs slowly and carefully so I try to find some to keep her agile. Remember, though, to assess your Chi’s ability, health and age as some Chi’s are no bigger than the steps themselves.
Socializing your pup is another important issue with Chihuahua’s. They can become suspicious, nervous, nasty and standoffish if kept away from other people and animals. They tend to become attached to one person and not accept anyone else in their environment. I can speak again from experience with this one. Unfortunately, I did socialize my Chi- A LOT- but since it was just the two of us for most of her life, she remains standoffish until she gets to know you – and that could take a while.
Having a pet, especially a tiny one like a Chihuahua is a lifetime decision. As with having a child, great consideration should be given and care taken before deciding that a Chihuahua is right for your home.
There are so many good books and resources to learn about the special needs and quirks of Chihuahua’s. I took three months to research online, read books, talk to veterinarians and breeders before I made one of the best decisions of my life to make my Chi part of my family.
~the wacky ex~
In order to get very good at something you MUST practice, practice, practice sometimes to the degree that it consumes your life. Well, I was never that good at commitment. I am what you call "A jack of all trades, master of none." But I enjoy so many things, so I dabble.
One thing I will say is that I don't think you need to be a professional to identify what type of pictures stand out or speak to you. Think about all the family photos you have where you can barely see the faces of the people in the picture. It is so much more meaningful to capture the feeling and essence of the moment, so get UP CLOSE!!!
So what happened to all those stars who were moving out of the US if Trump were elected?
I am no economist and I presume that the lack of their spending would hurt our economy, but I can't help but think how much of OUR money could be saved and spent on something more worthwhile.
Do we really need TV and movies to keep us entertained? Think about how much of our money goes into Hollywood? Can you imagine what that money could do if we all stopped watching TV and paying for movies or attending events they sponsor?
Our health in America is deteriorating. What happened to reading a good book, engaging your brain and imagination? Imagine what you could do with your life with the extra time, learn a musical instrument, volunteer to help others in need, study a new subject, exercise or go on a hike or a new adventure? Get healthy. Learn to dance and express your soul. Study photography and capture the wonders around you. My Gosh, the more I think about it, the better this idea gets.
Why is it we seem to thrive on watching OTHERS live out their dreams? Come on America, turn off that TV, stay away from the movies and LIVE......
Here are some facebook posts that, if true, are sure to frustrate:
Jan Vasquez -Not only are the Hollywood crowd wealthy, they have the craziest tax write offs of any group. (A fact the media never reports). They literally write off everything they buy or spend money on, Spa treatments, hair services, clothing, cosmetic surgery, diet and exercise programs, etc..... and their sag provided health care plan is the Cadillac of all plans. It is time for some tax revision!
Jan Vasquez -amazes me that the media has never exposed this little fact. Release some of their tax returns and see what happens. The public will be in shock and outraged!!!!
Jan Vasquez- In addition to tax write offs.... if they work on a film for 6 months and then are off for several months, they legally claim unemployment. Reasonable for struggling actors, not so reasonable for those earning millions on a movie.
~the wacky ex~
Don't you just love it when people assume you to be an asshole because you cut them off or made a wrong turn? Or people who think you are ignorant because you can't remember what they just told you how they explained a situation you have now forgotten? Or how about people who condemn you for incomplete sentences when you are supposed to be a writer... Ha just like these... Hurrah!!!
It amazes me how so many people forget that the world does not revolve around them, nor does everyone's mind work the same even if they don't see the logic in it.
I will remind those specific individuals (and you know who you are) that you cannot walk in another persons shoes, you can never experience exactly what the other is experiencing and you have no idea what is going on in their life, so CHILL... SHUT UP... LOOK IN THE MIRROR and live your own life without judging or criticizing others.
Imagine getting up everyday to do this!!!
Boonesville Fort in Kentucky, home of the famous Daniel Boone.... Not sure what the real Daniel looked like but I sure as heck remember Fess Parker on TV...
The candles behind her are made of 100% beeswax and smell wonderful without anything added. The wax in the barrel is paraffin with color and scent added. She dips, then hangs the piece on a 2 foot diameter ring, spins it around and dips again. It takes about 18 dips to make a full size stick candle.
The fort was full of these individual cabins, each one with a different craft of the day to highlight. I bought some LYE soap, yep, that stuff we were told was dangerous and no good turns out to be really good for some things... Taking the sting out of bites, the itch out of poison ivy, great for the skin and to remove tough stains from clothing.
She said that the trick is the soap has to cure for 4 WEEKS! or else it will eat your skin and burn. But I just read online that it only takes 48 hours to completely cure and anything after that might make a slightly milder soap but not much... Hmmm, maybe I should introduce the internet and google to those pioneers...
I've used the soap for stains and also to wash my hands. It does leave the skin feeling soft and it did take out the stain, but be sure to have a good container because it gets kind of messy and gooey.
Two more months, two more months... No, not for Christmas but until I turn SIXTY..
SIX O.. 6 0... How the hell did that happen? I could swear it was just yesterday that I was 17, okay, well how about 25, okay, okay, it wasn't just yesterday!
Let this be a lesson my youthful counterparts, enjoy each day and don't worry about what anyone thinks of you. Unless they are going to trade places with you when it is your time, they have no right to tell you what to do, when to do it or who to be!
Live life to the fullest. This month marks a year that my family lost an icon and beloved family member all too soon. No one ever expects this, but one thing I will say, He loved and lived life every day. When one read his posts on Facebook you knew that there wasn't a day go by that he didn't let his family know how much he loved them and he made each day a new adventure. Sometimes being around him was difficult because he was so full of energy and life, he never stopped.
"Are they making fun of your accent where you are now, my dear BIL?" I hope so, it was always entertaining.
Caio for now
~the wacky ex~
"Wait 'til you get older, you'll see!" "When you get to be my age..." "I can't wait to see what you do or how you feel when you are my age."
Although, I cannot say I have felt exactly like my mother since mom was pretty sedentary and I have tried to stay active, the common thread remains the same. Time has passed so quickly and yes, I see what she meant. It is not just about the friendly or not so friendly mirror and the story it tells of time passing, but the reality that time in this realm is finite.
Every day we read or hear about another famous celebrity of our time that has passed and worse, in our own life, iconic people who we love so much pass on, either unexpectedly or just with enough bygone years.
It's daunting really. I have always been a dreamer, an optimist of sorts, but it becomes more difficult not to dwell on the finality of life and how much time one has left.
My goals now, are shorter term and that feels, well... weird. I was always the youngest in my circle of friends. Finding myself older than everyone I encounter, including co workers humbles me.
Material possessions become less important, almost a burden when I think of someone else going through my personal belongings and having to decipher what goes where when I am gone. Recently, with the move out of state, I have disposed of more than half my household and although I still feel as if I have too much STUFF, it has been a freeing experience. With my continued donations and weekly trips to "Goodwill", they offered me a Rewards Program. Ha, imagine a Goodwill Rewards Program! What exactly are they going to REWARD me with anyway? So now there is one more card in my wallet to carry. UGH!
No, I'm not being morbid, just contemplating the facts of life. Something I am sure everyone does at this point; some sooner, some later. Life is finite in this realm and who knows what or IF something comes next. I do have my beliefs in the spiritual world, but what disturbs me is I am not sure the memories one makes in all realms of life get carried over and taken with you. Based on the fact that I remember NOTHING prior to this life, I think not and I WANT those memories. Everyone who has ever passed through or around my life means something to me, has molded me in some way and I want them with me forever.
Of course, I only ALMOST always get what I want... Tee Hee....
I am blessed to be able to work from home, have my health, family, friends and Cicci but hey, maybe we should get me OUT of the house a while and a little less contemplating, huh? Great, I am doing just that. Went dancing last week, started Yoga class and I volunteered to help and the Boat and Travel show this weekend. I expect fun times and to meet new people which is always a great adventure. Caio for now. Namaste----