The divorce rate in America is nearly 50%. Although not exactly accurate as the percentages change depending upon age group and whether or not it’s a first, second or third marriage according to www.divorcerate.org, it is significant enough to realize we are a country without commitment.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked, “Why did you stay married so long to a man you knew cheated?” With bravado, “If my spouse cheats, he/she is gone.”
Yeah, simple enough to say but not easy to follow through when vested in a life you placed all your hopes and dreams. We are human and a vital human virtue is hope.
My marriage, I assume was like most. We fought, we loved, we cried, we hated, we laughed, we were passionate and many times indifferent. I led, he led, no one led, we walked together and we walked alone. Most significantly we were not perfect. For some, crushing the ideal of perfection is devastating. For me, I was raised in a New York, Italian family that followed traditions and commitment.
Imagine a screaming freight train rushing to meet its commitment deadline, but once complete it chugs along down the track waiting for the next load to start the screaming again. It doesn’t jump the track to avoid the load.
That’s how I was raised, with the understanding of commitment. Okay, so it took me awhile to get it. I didn’t come into my own until after I had my son. I was (a brat) just a bit irresponsible before that. But I had a solid foundation to draw upon.
We fought, we screamed, we cursed, we raced, we bumped, we were smart ass all in rushing to get something done; but come Sunday we gathered, we ate, we hugged and we laughed knowing Monday our commitment would start the screaming again.
So what am I getting at? Come on, stay with me here. It’s easy to say “I love you” when things are good, without challenges and we are all so sweet and sappy but commitment in marriage is supposed to mean a whole lot more. People are so caught up in the I’m not happy syndrome that they forget, it’s up to them to be happy and happiness and happily ever after takes work, drive, desire and COMMITMENT! Isn't that what "For Better or Worse" means? We seem to forget the worse part....
Yes, he cheated and I'm sure in his mind felt justified. Regardless, there was love and I was committed. He was not and it does take two. Had I known then what I know now, my choice may have been different. That’s another story for another day.
~signed The Wacky Ex~